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July 30, 2009
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The Final Report


Sitting at his desk Jack shoveled through the mountain of paperwork that had accumulated during the last five missions.  He’d rather be pinned down under enemy fire than look at another forum, but there was no way Hammond was going to let him through the Gate again if he didn’t get a majority of this done today.  

Jack looked up as Daniel suddenly stormed into his office.  He had a hefty report in one hand and a disgruntled look on his face.  Jack ignored him even as the irate archeologist threw the fifty page ream of paper down on his desk.  Daniel crossed his arms over his chest and glared spitefully at Jack until the Colonel could no longer ignore him.

“Jack, what the hell is this?”

“I don’t know.”  Jack picked up the report.  “It appears to be a cellulose derivative parchment with some kind of latin based language printed on it.”

“It’s your report on our last mission to PX2-59.”  

“If you know what it is: why are you bugging me?”

“It’s really the last sentence that irritates me the most.”  Daniel hissed.  

Despite the fact that Jack had written the report yesterday he had completely forgotten what it said.  Humoring Daniel he picked it up and leafed to the last page.  Reading the sentence a slight smile touched his lips.  He put the report down and looked up at Daniel.

“What about it?”  Jack asked innocently.  

“It’s insulting.”

“It’s the truth.”

“Ja...”

“Daniel, you almost got yourself killed five times on that mission.”

“Five?  That seems a little high.”

“My point exactly.”

“Wait, you’re not counting the time at the ceremonial dinner are you?”

“Yes.”

“That wasn’t my fault, how the hell was I supposed to know there was shellfish in the rice?”

“Daniel, even if it wasn’t for your brush with anaphylactic shock you were still a danger to yourself and others the entire mission and I fully stand by what I said.”  

Daniel narrowed his eyes and took a breath to argue further when Sam suddenly appeared at the door.  Unlike Daniel she knocked at the open door before entering.  

“Hey, guys, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.”  Jack answered.  “Daniel was just leaving.”

“This isn’t the end of this.”  Daniel huffed.  

Jack rolled his eyes and pushed the report off his desk.  Sam watched in concern as Daniel left in an obvious fury.  She turned to Jack with an expectant look on her face.  Realizing that he wasn’t going to get any paper work done today he looked up at her.

“What was that all about?”  Sam asked.  

“Daniel read my last report, he’s not happy about it.”

“What did you say?”

“‘Dr. Daniel Jackson, WARNING: lacks situational awareness.’.”
:giggle: Just a one shot to go along with a Navy phrase I learned recently. I so want a shirt that says 'Lacks situational awareness'.
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:iconkeilum:
Keilum Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014
Oh he does!
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:iconphoenix-cry:
Phoenix-Cry Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014
It's so true
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:iconmissyme48:
missyme48 Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2010
lol
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:iconphoenix-cry:
Phoenix-Cry Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2010
heehee
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:iconmissyme48:
missyme48 Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2010
yeah
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:iconradiantsilverfire:
radiantsilverfire Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2010
epic lolz!
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:iconphoenix-cry:
Phoenix-Cry Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2010
heehee
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:iconsvenniemannie:
svenniemannie Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
"Lacks Situational Awareness" :D Makes me think of (I think it was) George Carlin, who once said something along the lines of "I'm not lost, I'm locationally challenged!"
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:iconphoenix-cry:
Phoenix-Cry Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2009
:giggle:
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:iconmacgyver-sg1:
macgyver-sg1 Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
O...M...G.:lmao: That was HILARIOUS!!!! That just what I needed to read after 12 hours in the car! Great job, as always! :giggle:
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