Spock sat on the edge of the bed hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees. He passively watched the blood drip from his face down onto his folded hands, from there it splattered onto the floor. Unchecked the nose bleed continued to slip a slow moving green river over his lips on its journey to the floor.
It wasnt the bloody stain on his hands that held his gaze, it was the plain band ring he wore. Much like the insignia it hadnt been worth fighting him for so he had been allowed to keep it. However, with his wife so far away the once gold metal had faded to a dull and cold steel. He tried to remember Uhuras touch, but it just brought a sharper pain to his heart. Eventually enough blood fell onto his hands to cover the ring.
Spock closed his eyes, but it didnt help block out the voices that had returned. He knew now that the chaotic screaming and shouts were nothing more than auditory hallucinations, artifacts of the mysterious sickness that was determined to take his life. The Vulandin usually kept the voices in the background, but they had not come to him yesterday for medical treatment.
With the drug washing out of his system the emotional surges began to return as well. Right now it was a deep apathy that was assaulting his senses and kept him from even caring that he was continuing to bleed. Spock opened his eyes as he heard noises other than the ones in his head, but he didnt turn to look at his visitors.
Doctor, please, Saaviks voice broke through the random shouting in Spocks mind you can not deprive him of the Vulandin like this. Look at him...he is dying.
He is is dying with or without it. Vulandin is clearly not the answer, we must try something else. Vulcine...
Vulcine is not ready for testing. Saavik interrupted.
You have so little faith in your own drug?
I am still working on it, I need more time.
Time is something we are running out of.
I know. Saavik admitted. However, Spock is not the logical choice for Vulcine trial, his human blood will tamper with the results.
Saavik, this decision does not involve you. A subject must be chosen and it is perfectly logic to risk the one who has the least desirable genetics.
You are becoming somewhat emotional yourself, half-Romulan, and I am beginning to distrust you. If your scientific knowledge was not in such dire need here I would have you removed.
My scientific knowledge is not enough, all the minds left to Vulcan can not solve this. Saavik insisted. It is time to ask the Federation for help.
That decision will be made by the High Council.
They have already waited too long.
Saavik, are you going to assist us in this trial or not?
Yes. Saavik sighed in defeat.
Then follow orders.
Spock had listened to them discuss his fate without interest. It wasnt until they entered the room that he looked up at them. The guards didnt care about the blood and reached down and hauled him to his feet. As they traveled down the hall Spock found himself growing tense. By the time they arrived at the lab he was devoting most of his concentration to keeping himself from lashing out at the nearest living thing.
Saavik stepped up with a cold wet cloth for Spock to remove the blood from his hands and face. When she handed it to him their hands brushed against one another and she instantly felt the powerful emotion transfer into her fingertips. He pulled away quickly and rubbed the green from his skin.
You should restrain me quickly, Spock announced I am losing myself to anger once more, and I do not wish for anyone to be harmed.
The Vulcine is less toxic than the Vulandin, Saavik assured him however I do not know if it will have the desired affect.
I am more than willing to accept the trial if you believe you will learn something from it.
It would be impossible to learn nothing from it.
Saavik nodded, although it was the doctor who took over the test. Spock laid down on the table and once again was restrained as they had for the electroshock therapy. He had been assured that they were not going to try that again since it had magnified his symptoms rather than mitigated them. As they went through the routine checks and blood tests Spock started panting for breath against his escalating rage.
Saavik, what is the dose requirement on Vulcine?
.045 cc per kilogram if my calculations are correct.
And if they are not? Spock snarled. I am sorry...
I understand. Saavik said softly. Are you hearing the voices?
Yes, Spock growled through clenched teeth however, I can not understand them.
No Vulcan ever does. The doctor said. They are simply a hallucination caused by the increased dopamine levels, they are not real.
Vulcine binds with dopamine. Saavik explained.
I do not care how it works! Spock snapped as his emotions took control once more. Just end this! I am sorry...forgive me...
With the last of the Vulandin washed from his system Spocks emotions seized a hold of his senses once more. He strained against the restraints, something he often broke in the sick bay on the Enterprise. The Vulcans were far more prepared to deal with his strength, and he had no chance of freeing himself. Saavik reached out to touch the side of his face to calm him but he jerked away as best he could and barred his teeth at her like a wild animal.
Fascinating how quickly his symptoms returned with only twenty four hours off the Vulandin. The doctor noted.
It is a logical reaction. Saavik said. The Vulandin only suppressed the symptoms, it does nothing to cure the underlying cause. The Vulcine will work the same way, it is not a cure, it is just hopefully a better way to manage the symptoms.
Increasingly frustrated with his situation Spock roared in murderous fury. Saavik handed the doctor a small glass vile with a bright purple fluid in it. He clicked the vile into a hypogun and pressed the muzzle against Spocks throat. After the injection the heart monitor instantly dropped its dangerously high rhythm.
Relaxing almost to the point of passing out Spocks only struggle now was to keep his eyes open. The change had happened as quickly as someone turning out a light. Saavik reached out once again. This time Spock not only allowed the touch, but a slight smile touched his lips. However it wasnt long before a look of concern flashed across his stoic face.
Spock? Saavik asked.
Spock didnt respond to his name. He knit his slanted eyebrows together and turned his head slightly to listen to something that no one else could hear. Saavik watched as the calm that the Vulcine had put him into slowly melted away. Spock began panting for breath, however it was panic that was pushing his system this time. He gasped sharply as a look of horror widened his dark eyes. Saavik couldnt look away from the pained expression on his face, but she could hear the heart monitor as it wailed faster than ever before. Welding his eyes shut Spock threw his head back and arched his back against the restraints.
Mother?! Spock cried. Mother!
Saavik stopped suddenly, she had put her hand down on his chest to calm him and it had sent a sharp lance of pain and loss through her. Breathless herself she yanked her hand away and took a step back. Spock wailed and thrashed for freedom. The vital sign monitors began chirping warnings as Spocks system began to fail under the strain.
Let me go! Spock begged. I have to try!
This is not working, the emotion will kill him before the drug gets a chance to. The doctor noted calmly. Sedate him, resume with 7 cc of the Vulandin.
Yes, Doctor. One of the assistants went into action.
Spock continued his heartfelt cries even as the sedation took effect. It wasnt until the Vulandin was coursing through his veins that he gave in to sleep. When his head lolled to the side a thin stream of emerald blood seeped from the corner of his mouth. The doctor reached out and touched the blood with his fingertips as if to prove to himself that it was real. He turned his attention to Saavik.
Your formula needs more work Saavik.
Saavik just nodded vacantly. She followed the two assistants as they dragged Spock back to his bed. They laid him down and left without a word. Saavik backed herself up against the wall opposite of the bed. Folding her arms over her chest she waited for him to return to his senses.
It only took Spock about fifteen minutes to revive from the light sedation. He took a deep breath before opening his eyes. Panic didnt cloud his eyes, however, he did scramble to his feet and rush into the adjoining wash room. Saavik listened to Spock being violently ill without disturbing his privacy.
A few minutes later she heard the water running. Spock returned to the bed and sat down on the edge with his back perfectly straight. He noted Saavik, but did not greet her right away. He took a moment to compose himself before turning his attention on his visitor.
I am afraid that your Vulcine has the same nauseating side effects as the Vulandin.
You do not remember any of what happened, do you?
I recall being violently angry. Now I am here and once again in control.
The Vulcine failed. Saavik admitted. You are once again under the influence of the Vulandin.
What did you learn?
I learned that the Vulcine appears to trigger an episode of extreme trauma. You appeared locked in a tragic memory.
Spock thought about this for a moment. His eyes lost a touch of their focus for while. Saavik waited for him to speak again. Eventually Spock looked up at Saavik, his expression passive and cold.
I mentioned my mother, didnt I?
I never treated her as I should. Spock said softly. I treated her as though she was Vulcan. I was not fair to her.
I am sure she understood.
She did, that does not make my actions right.
Spock fell silent once again, but he did not turn his attention inward on himself this time. Saavik glanced out into the hallway and found it deserted. Pushing herself away from the wall she stepped up in front of Spock and knelt down. She once again dropped her voice below that of human hearing, nearly below that of even Vulcan ears.
I have sent a message to your friends. I have given them all they need to free you.
Thank you, they will be here soon. Spock gave her a nod of respect. You have risked much for me.
I risk this for all of Vulcan kind.
When I am rescued, what will become of you?
I do not understand.
I think that you do. Spock accused gently. This is treason, they will know it was you.
I am ready to accept the consequences of my actions. It is for the greater good. Saavik replied sincerely. They still need my mind, and I am practically imprisoned her already.
Practically a prisoner is not the same. You will spend the rest of your many days as a prisoner. Even if a cure is found by your hand they will never forgive you for the insult of this.
I will not trade your freedom for my own.
It is too late for that, it is done.
Return with us to the Enterprise. Spock offered.
What of my work here?
I believe your work here is done...