Any minute now Dateline is going to come and pound down my door. They are going to stick a camera in my face while the cops cuff me and drag me off to Federal Prison. I'll have a surprised look of my face for a moment, but then when they present the evidence to me I'll be like:

"Oh...yeah, I can see where that might seem creepy."

Yup. I am now offically an Internet Creep. These things can really sneak up on you. Allow me to explain.

At one point I met an artist online here at DA and it turns out that she lives in Ft. Lauderdale, where my Mum lives. So out of complete innocents I say: "Hey, I'm going to be in FL next week, we should get together, have a drink."

To which she replies: "Um...well I'll have to ask my Dad."

Me: "....uh...what?"

Internet person: "I'm 14."

Me: "....."


Recently this happened to me again when I attempted to enter a business contract with someone who I only just found out is 15.

What is WRONG with me?

Anyway, to all the young folk out there please understand that anything I ever say comes from me being complete moron and not because I'm a creepy internet stalker person.

Forgive me.

And if it's not too much trouble could you send me a pack of cigarettes? We use them like money here in the slammer.